What does it mean to protect your peace?

My upcoming workshop focuses on protecting your peace during the holidays after abuse. I've been thinking about what that means and wanted to explain why I came up with this idea in the first place and how it can help other women getting out of abusive situations.

When I got divorced, we decided to split custody 50/50 - each of us would have the kids every other week and we figured out how to share holidays. For reasons that maybe I'll explain at some point, I wasn't able to get full custody of the kids for about two years after that.

That first Christmas break, he had custody and chose to take the kids out of the country. Yes, I gave permission. No, I wasn't happy about it. I spent several days on the couch. Literally. I watched tv. Managed to eat some food. Stayed in my pajamas. On Christmas Day my mom came over and insisted that I go with her to my aunt's house. She thought it would be better for me to be around other people. But mostly I sat on my aunt's couch and played Angry Birds. My mom wasn't happy. No one knew what to say to me or even how to act around me.

I know now that what I really needed was for my mom to stay with me at my house, on my couch and let me be sad and angry and worried. And maybe reassure me that the kids would be ok. That he wouldn't try to stay out of the country with them. That it was ok that I let him take them so far away. I wish that I had known how to ask for that. I wish that I felt like I deserved to ask for that. For other women, maybe being asked to go out and be with friends or family might just be the thing they need. We all have different needs and we all deserve to ask for those needs to be met.

So that's the reasoning behind Protecting Your Peace: Navigating the Holidays After Abuse - to help participants think about what they want right now, figure out how to ask for it and set the boundaries that they need. It's something that I know would have been helpful to me so I know it will be helpful to other women.

Can't make it on November 5th? That's ok - everyone who registers will get a recording of the event. Worried about privacy? You don't have to have your camera on, your story is yours to share or not and your image/name will never be used for marketing purposes. Register here!