Leaving an abusive relationship is hard. What comes next is often harder.

Every woman who has left an abusive relationship has a different story about how she got out. The details differ depending on how long the relationship lasted, whether it was a marriage, whether there were kids and assets to divide, or whether the parting was mutual. There might be lawyers involved. Leaving might be incredibly dangerous.

But there's one thing most of us have in common: dealing with the aftermath of trauma.

I thought that once I got away from my ex, I would be happy. I thought I'd go back to being the carefree, confident woman I was when I started law school. The reality was much different than I expected.

First, I had to get my kids away from him. Then I had to rebuild my life. It hasn't been easy, and it will probably be a lifelong process. But once I accepted that it wasn't enough to just get out and go to therapy - that there was real work to be done to rewire my brain, change my habits, and find ways to become the person I want to be - things started to shift.

The woman I've become is different than who I thought I would be. But thankfully, I'm much stronger and a lot happier.

The Garden Metaphor That Changed Everything

A friend once wrote to me that she believes we can take all the crap we've been through in life and turn it into compost for the beautiful garden we want our life to be. That became something of a mantra for me.

But it wasn't until recently that I realized how much work a garden actually takes to get and stay beautiful. (That's probably because I'm not a gardener, and I've only recently been able to keep houseplants alive for more than a month.)

This realization has helped me move forward in ways I wasn't able to before. Emotional healing is not a one-and-done thing. You don't just "get over" long-term trauma. It takes time and intentionality.

I've been using journaling, guided meditation, and tools I've learned over the years to help myself move through my trauma. And it's really helped.

You Don't Have to Figure This Out Alone

I know it's hard to find time to take care of yourself—and finding the right tools to help you heal takes time and energy you might not have right now.

That's why I created the Overcoming Trauma Toolkit: 24 emails over 12 months with journal prompts, guided meditations, and all the tips and strategies that can help you move from trauma to joy.

When you join, you'll get:

• 10 affirmation cards delivered instantly

• 2 emails per month starting in January (24 total over the year)

• Practical, trauma-informed guidance you can use at your own pace

  
  

Buy the Toolkit here - $100 for the full year

Have questions? Want to talk about whether this is right for you? Set up a free 20-minute consultation with me here to ask anything about the Toolkit and my coaching offerings.

You've already done the hardest part—you got out. Now let me help you with what comes next.