The Real Reason Busy Moms Struggle With Self-Care (and How to Start Small)

If you’re a busy mom, you’ve probably heard it a thousand times: “You need to take better care of yourself.” And while you know it’s true, actually doing it? That’s a whole different story. It’s not that you don’t want to. It’s not that you don’t recognize the value. The real reason busy moms struggle with self-care runs deeper than just a lack of time. It’s the invisible load—and let’s be honest, it’s heavier than that laundry pile you’ve been avoiding.

Understanding the Invisible Load

So much to remember!

The invisible load is the mental checklist that never seems to end. It’s remembering to schedule doctor’s appointments, keeping track of school activities, planning meals, and making sure everyone has clean clothes for the week. It’s the emotional labor of anticipating everyone else’s needs while often putting your own on the back burner. For many moms, it’s not just about doing things—it’s about holding the mental space for everything that needs to be done. You’re basically a project manager with no pay and unlimited overtime.

This constant mental juggling act leaves little room for you. Even when there’s a moment of quiet, your mind is running through lists, planning the next move, or simply trying to catch up. No wonder self-care feels like another “task” to add to the pile! Honestly, if self-care could be done in the car during school pick-up, you’d have mastered it by now.

Why Recharging Matters

Imagine your mind as a phone battery. You wouldn’t expect your phone to last all day without

Recharging is essential

recharging, so why do we expect the same of ourselves? When you’re running on empty, everything feels harder—patience is shorter, decision-making is foggier, and burnout creeps in. The invisible load doesn’t go away, but you can face it with more clarity and resilience when you take even small moments to recharge.

And no, recharging doesn’t require a weekend at the spa or an hour-long yoga session (although those are great if you can do them!). Sometimes, it’s as simple as taking 10 minutes to breathe, stretch, or sip a cup of coffee while it’s still hot. (I know, sounds like a luxury, right?)

Starting Small: The Key to Real Change

One of the biggest barriers to self-care is the idea that it has to be “all or nothing.” If you can’t find an hour to work out, you do nothing. If you can’t cook a perfect meal, you grab whatever is easiest. But here’s the truth: Small changes add up.

Think of it like planting a seed. A single habit, like drinking a glass of water every morning, stretching for five minutes before bed, or stepping outside for fresh air, can be the start of something bigger. It’s the consistency that matters, not the size of the action.

When you approach self-care as a series of small, sustainable actions, it becomes part of your routine—not another burden. And over time, those little moments of care add up to real change. You feel more energized, less overwhelmed, and more capable of handling that invisible load. Plus, you might actually drink a hot cup of coffee. Stranger things have happened.

Ready to Start Small?

If you’re ready to start making space for yourself, I’d love to help. Join me for a free wellness call where we can talk about your biggest challenges and how health coaching can help you create simple, sustainable habits that work for your life. Let’s make self-care something you actually look forward to—no guilt, no overwhelm, and maybe even some laughter along the way.

Interested in being part of a community of moms like you? Join the brand new Firefly Community for tips, support, and real talk about balancing life and wellness. You deserve this.