The Invisible Load of Motherhood: Why You’re Exhausted (and What You Can Do About It)

It's hard to carry the invisible load of motherhood!

As a working mom, you’re likely carrying a lot—and not just the visible things like your laptop, grocery bags, or your child’s backpack. You’re also carrying the invisible load: the mental checklist that runs 24/7.

Doctor appointments. School projects. Remembering who likes their sandwich cut diagonally. Managing work deadlines while mentally prepping for dinner. It’s no wonder you feel exhausted—because you are.

The mental and emotional labor of motherhood is real. And while it often goes unacknowledged, it deeply impacts your energy, mood, and ability to care for yourself. Today, I want to talk about what that invisible load looks like—and how to start lightening it.

What Is the Invisible Load?

The invisible load includes:

• Emotional labor (managing everyone’s feelings)

• Decision fatigue (from a million micro-choices daily)

• Planning and remembering all the things (birthdays, permission slips, laundry detergent)

  
  

Even when your partner or co-parent helps, the thinking part of running a household often falls to moms. And that mental load? It’s heavy.

If you’ve ever collapsed onto the couch after bedtime feeling depleted but unsure why, this is it.

How This Impacts Your Well-Being

It’s hard to make space for your own wellness when your brain is running overtime. The invisible load can lead to:

• Chronic fatigue (mental and physical)

• Irritability or mood swings

• Sleep issues

• Emotional eating or skipping meals

• Losing sight of your own needs

  
  

This isn’t a personal failure—it’s a result of systems and expectations that ask moms to do it all while making it look easy.

So… What Can You Do?

You can’t always drop the load completely—but you can get support, set boundaries, and shift how you carry it.

1. Name It to Change It

Awareness is a powerful first step. Start noticing where the load shows up in your day. Journaling or voice-noting your “mental checklist” can help make the invisible…visible.

2. Share the Load

If you live with a partner, talk openly about the mental load—not just the tasks, but the planning behind them. Sharing doesn’t always mean perfect 50/50, but communication creates opportunities for more balance.

3. Set Boundaries (Even Tiny Ones)

Say no to the school bake sale if you’re already maxed out. Let bedtime be a little less “Pinterest” and a little more “survival mode.” Protecting your energy doesn’t make you a bad mom—it makes you a sustainable one.

4. Build in Micro-Moments of Care

You don’t need an hour of solitude to care for yourself. Try:

• 3 deep breaths before your next meeting

• 10 minutes of stretching before bed

• A nourishing snack eaten slowly, without multitasking

  
  

These small acts matter. They send a signal to your body that you matter too.

5. Choose Progress Over Perfection

Wellness doesn’t mean doing everything “right.” It means making space for what helps you feel more like you. My Health at Every Size approach is rooted in this—supporting your well-being without chasing an unrealistic ideal.

You Deserve Support

The Busy Mom Reset was created because of this invisible load. It’s a four-week program designed to help you reconnect with your needs, set boundaries, and learn how to prioritize yourself without guilt.

You don’t have to fix everything overnight. But you can take one small step today.

Let’s lighten the load—together. For more information, schedule a 15 minute Wellness Call with me or shoot an email to jessica@fireflywellnesschicago.com.