I didn't ask for help because I thought I didn't deserve it ...

You deserve so much more ...

It seems strange for me to say but I didn't know I was being emotionally abused until it had been happening for years. I remember being in Borders on Michigan Avenue - it felt like such a safe space because I could browse books and my husband would never know what I was looking at. I found a book - I don't remember the title - that described emotional abuse and I was shocked. It described exactly what was happening to me.

Another thing that might seem strange - the emotional abuse was worse than the physical abuse. The emotional abuse was the sentences, while the physical abuse was the punctuation marks. I knew it was wrong that he was violent but it wasn't non-stop violence. He never put me in the hospital. Rarely left marks - never on my face. It was the emotional abuse that left scars.

It took me years after I knew I was being abused to finally leave. He had me convinced that he would get custody of my girls and that I would never see them. I finally realized that was absolutely not true and that's when I was able to leave. I remember a couple of people telling me about resources for women experiencing domestic violence. And I thought about it. But I never went.

I never went because I was ashamed. And I thought that I wouldn't be seen as a true victim because I was a lawyer. I had a good job and made good money (until the market crashed which happened at the same time I was filing for divorce so that sucked). He never put me in the hospital. He didn't really control all the money. He managed to get me estranged from most of my family, but I still had friends and co-workers. I thought that other women in those domestic violence groups would judge me and think I wasn't worthy of their support because I had money and could have gotten out, but didn't.

Although the Amber Heard trial against Johnny Depp happened years after I left my husband, the way that she was treated by so many people just reinforced my own feelings of shame about not being a perfect victim. I felt like I should have known better. I should have done better. But being a victim of abuse made me question my intelligence, my abilities and my basic worth. I thought I didn't deserve help.

Looking back, I wish I had reached out for help. I didn't have to go through the divorce and the fight for custody and child support on my own. I didn't have to rebuild my life on my own. And that's why I do what I do - I work with other women who are ready to get the help they need to learn how to care for themselves again. To remember their intelligence, abilities and worth. If this is you, I hope you reach out. You can schedule a free chat with me here.